I'm in a strange place right now. I'm leaving in a few days and I now have so many doubts. I just pulled out all my assets to finance the trip and, as I was signing the papers, I felt very anxious. This was a big move for me and I was starting to doubt whether I was doing a wise thing and if it was financially sound.
You know the feeling you get when you are on a boat, away from any coast, with heavy scuba gear on your back, and you look down at the dark surface of the ocean before you jump in? That feeling of apprehension as you can't see what moves underneath. But then you take a deep breath and you jump, breaking the surface of the water. Finally, able to take your first breath underwater, everything becomes clear and your doubts dissipate magically. Well maybe you don't, maybe I'm the only scuba diver who feels this way...
Anyhow, right now, I feel like I'm on that boat, looking down. People assume I'm super excited and they are often surprised when I voice my apprehensions. Did I do the right thing. Should I really have taken a sabbatical? Was I stupid for pulling out all my money? How much will things have changed in my absence? What if I'm ready to come home after a mere month?
I'm trying to fight off those doubts by reminding myself why I'm doing this and by breaking down my plans in steps. If I think in terms of a whole year, I get overwhelmed. I find it helps if I look only to Australia and New Zealand, not what will follow.
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